Saturday, January 16, 2010

friendship and creativity

have you ever thought about the dynamics of a good relationship? I have often heard people saying, when asked why they love someone, stuff like We have a lot in common, we have been on for many years... I know her, or I know him so much. We know each other.

I sit back. I think it over again... and I am afraid of a danger that may be in the way. To claim to know the other people that enters into relationship with us may be a daring presumption. What really makes us feel the warmth of a relationship is the surprises that go with them... the discovery we awaken to every day, that the other  before me is so different. It inspires wonder and awe at the same time, something of reverence and welcome.

Love has no limits. Its faintest spark could cover and infinite sphere... But often, the friction and tension we create in relationships stem from the fact that we want others to be the ideal we have created in our mind, thus limiting that person's growth and liberty of creative surprises.

Sometimes in relationships people tend to say stuff like, "I am tired", or "I don't feel at home here any more", "I am no longer happy with you." Well, there may be a point there. But I often wonder how much creativity such people give to see to it that there is welcome, that there is joy. If you want happiness in a relationship, you will not just reach out and have it offered as a coin that is thrust into the wrinkled palms of a beggar. You have got to create it. You have to give it. You have to create a space in which it thrives. I am not talking about extreme situations where living with a particular person becomes really difficult. I am talking about spicing up a relationship and making it beautiful. That space where joy and welcome reign must come from a creativity that maintains the rhythm of the heart.

This is what I have come to believe in, we can always know someone. We must always make efforts of knowing those with whom we interact or enter into a definite relationship. That is beautiful. But leaving room for surprises maintains a healthy dynamism where trust, openness and creativity become spices that awaken us always to the joy of discovering.


Anonymous said...

I definitely agree with this view... every relationship is beautiful if we do not tend to be controlled freaks. Where there is that liberty and trust and space to be who we are, the surprises are surely gonna be positive.

Nice post

Anonymous said...

I agree

kewong said...

what then are the implications of saying that you know somebody. Is it absurd to think in that way in the real sense?


You can always say we know people... Of course, as someone who have spent a a long time with me, who have spoken to me, who have watched, touched, looked upon my face, and heard my pain also... you can say you know me. But that knowing is what my openness allows to your cognitive senses.

But saying that we know someone with complete certitude is dangerous. It might be limiting us from letting that person grow, which means opening his/her humanity towards areas unknown to us. I like the expression that refers to God as being more intimate to me than I am to myself. And if we are always asking, questing to know more about who we really are, what more of the "Other" who doesn't completely share our experience?

ntani said...

At times people claim to know in others what the subjects themselves donot know about themselves.


Well it may happen that someone helps us to discover something about us. How many people discover their gifts just because someone told them that "You can do this."

Sometimes many factors may hinder us from seeing the totality of who we are. We can't see out back, right? I believe that others may get glimpses of something we do not see about ourselves.

rhy said...

i really do love this... with all the definition i thought i knew, this made my point of view really clear about relationship and how to understand what love should be... you really inspire me.

welcome to the WORLD OF HAVEN VALLEY

I am not a cut different from the ordinary human who walks the street. But in my journey, I strive to understand the music that surges from the wide worlds within every individual, that which makes him/her that fragile and sacred at the same time. I have found myself sometimes looking at someone farting with thumps-up as though goading him on to sanity. Seemingly meaningless things have been things that have communicated sense to me especially during louring hours. That is what this journal is. I offer these thoughts to the world with wonted pleasure and gratitude to all that awakens the human in me.

Search This Blog