have you ever thought about the dynamics of a good relationship? I have often heard people saying, when asked why they love someone, stuff like We have a lot in common, we have been on for many years... I know her, or I know him so much. We know each other.
I sit back. I think it over again... and I am afraid of a danger that may be in the way. To claim to know the other people that enters into relationship with us may be a daring presumption. What really makes us feel the warmth of a relationship is the surprises that go with them... the discovery we awaken to every day, that the other before me is so different. It inspires wonder and awe at the same time, something of reverence and welcome.
Love has no limits. Its faintest spark could cover and infinite sphere... But often, the friction and tension we create in relationships stem from the fact that we want others to be the ideal we have created in our mind, thus limiting that person's growth and liberty of creative surprises.
Sometimes in relationships people tend to say stuff like, "I am tired", or "I don't feel at home here any more", "I am no longer happy with you." Well, there may be a point there. But I often wonder how much creativity such people give to see to it that there is welcome, that there is joy. If you want happiness in a relationship, you will not just reach out and have it offered as a coin that is thrust into the wrinkled palms of a beggar. You have got to create it. You have to give it. You have to create a space in which it thrives. I am not talking about extreme situations where living with a particular person becomes really difficult. I am talking about spicing up a relationship and making it beautiful. That space where joy and welcome reign must come from a creativity that maintains the rhythm of the heart.
This is what I have come to believe in, we can always know someone. We must always make efforts of knowing those with whom we interact or enter into a definite relationship. That is beautiful. But leaving room for surprises maintains a healthy dynamism where trust, openness and creativity become spices that awaken us always to the joy of discovering.